i don't know what the hell i'm doing.

fox in sox

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

— John Quincy Adams

how to

I haven't laughed so freely and so loudly like I did tonight - in a while! Seriously, laughter is THE BEST remedy! When you need something as simple as laughter, God grants it! Then you always have to remember that he never gives you more than he KNOWS you can handle. & that is a comforting realization. Tonight I learned that I should never downplay what I've worked hard for just to fit in or to be accepted by others because true friends will let you shine and encourage you to be your very best. I know I don't know it all but I am willing to learn and I am so grateful for those who are willing to teach me. Thank you God for blessing me with your love and guidance.

my prayer

Dear God,

Please take away this envious spirit. Let me move on and not worry about what's going on in other peoples lives. Let me be happy for those around me who deserve the blessings you are granting them and still happy for those who dont. (LOL) I trust in you. Thank you for loving me despite my imperfections.

Love,
Me

(Thank you, Nyisha Causey)

old bathwater

When I was 18, I thought I had everything all figured out. I was geniunely outspoken, way too prideful and extremely hardheaded. I hated who I was. I hate the fact that that's the memory of me I left behind for so many to remember me by and because of that person I used to be, I missed out on getting to know some really great somebody's... (or so I think). Five years later you would think that I've mastered everything but I realized I don't know anything about life at all. Unfortunately, second chances are seldom granted and people will continue to judge you based on your past. My mom once told me, "Be careful what you do because it doesn't matter if you're good 90% of the time... people ALWAYS remember the bad (10%)" and she was right. I've made so many bad choices in the past. I thought I had it all under control but I was just out of control now that I look back. People make mistakes all the time and sadly, people are not as forgiving as this world needs them to be.

I would like to think that i've grown into an extremely improved version of who I used to be.. but whose job is it to judge me on that besides God? It's hard to run into someone from the past who continues to hold the idea of who you used to be against you. They don't open up to the possibility that maybe you've grown up, changed, matured... instead, they turn their cheek, brush you off, make you feel like you're unworthy of their time. I guess that's fine... I won't lie.. it hurts my pride and I start to blame myself thinking it's something I must have done but then I realized that you can't change the way people feel or act toward you so you might as well be yourself.

I'm learning to allow myself to grow. I am not the same person I was when I was 18 and I don't have it all figured out... but I want to learn. I want to let go and let God take over.

SMH

Why do people feel the need to abbreviate ALMOST every single word when speaking, typing, or texting? ie. "alrights i'ma drink my coffs (coffee) and continue my studs (studying)". Honestly, you sound idiotic. Sure, (maybe) it's funny once, or twice... but to replace the entire english language with a derivative of a word when communicating is immature. We are educated individuals, yet me make the extra effort to demonstrate ignorance and laziness in our communication skills. Why? Someone please explain to me how this new fad is taking over? In terms of leading by example, the generation beneath us is looking up to us to provide them with knowledge and guidance but we continue to steer them in the wrong direction. Grow up and please become someone worth looking up to because believe it or not, the kids are watching.

*This is my opinion and if you don't like what I have to say, then get out of here and have a nice day :)

sanctuary

With you by my side, everything in the world seems better. Good things are twice as much fun because when I share them with you, I get to see you smile... bad things are only half as bad because I know I can count on you to help me through them. With you to hold my hand, I know that I have someone who sees life a lot like I do with so much beauty, love and faith. We share the same values, dream the same dreams and I know that I have someone who understands the parts of me that other people don't even know exist. With you in my life, I know that I have everything anyone could ever want - someone who's understanding and supportive, who's fun and interesting... someone I love and who also happens to be the greatest friend I have ever known. Thank you for loving me the way you do and for all the little blessings that you bring to my life. Happy Anniversary! May we continue to grow together and love one another the way God wants us to. (May 15, 2006).