spirit of adventure

"It's not worth it to sacrifice your own integrity for someone else..." - E. Alcid

A friend of mine told me to embrace the richness of life. To do this, I have to let my dreams touch the sky, learn to love the true me, allow myself to see the wisdom in others while respecting where I am and never forgetting where I came from & to experience the world with amazement... 

Then, i was given a ticket to go anywhere i wanted... 

and i realized it didn't matter to me where i went as long as i was with you.  

deposit

"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves" - Buddha

Whenever it's that time of the month again, my mind overflows with these bittersweet, sometimes negative memories/thoughts & i feel insanely destructive... if Buddha is right, then I am ultimately screwed. 

95% of the time I am at peace with life and myself but for those few days when the hormones are taking over me and messing with my emotions, I find myself in this deep dark hole that I can't seem to escape.  It's good to know that this feeling is only present 5% of the time and in a few days, I will be back in the lime light. 

Besides, there has to be balance. Can't "always be rainbows and butterflies". I've always been better off just going with the flow anyway, so i'll just go ahead and do that.  

proven

"Make health and your personal relationships your number one priority because believe me you'll always have to work." -C. Bagube

Well said sister! You truly are the best advice giver EVER. i love you. You help me keep my eye on the important things in life. You inspire me to really LIVE and i appreciate that. So THANK YOU. 

On Another note....

I am now a college graduate :) Thank you Mom, Dad, AC2J, Rhoderick, Gramps/Grams/Lolo/Lola, extended family, friends & professors. I literally could not have done it without you. Thank you for being my stars, supporters and loves. I'm very blessed. :) 

This summer is gonna be off the hook!

goodbye waves & driveways

"Be wise enough not to be reckless, but brave enough to take great risks."

I am currently at my favorite coffee shop on the corner of Del Amo and Palo Verde prepping myself for a night full of studying. I am overtly stalling because i am so unbelievably exhausted & can't stay focused! I keep telling myself that I need to snap out of it and get myself together for one more week but I truly just want to sit back and enjoy the day doing absolutely nothing... that would be simply satisfying! 

Too bad, I can't. ):

Last night I decided to no longer make decisions based on what other people want. I always find myself doing that. But not anymore. I've decided to end a chapter in my life, which obviously was written in the past and that's where it should stay. I've been holding on way too long to how things used to be and who people WERE... & I don't want to live that way anymore. I learned that I can STILL keep those memories with me, but I will no longer allow those memories to have the power to dictate my actions and/or feelings. There's nothing left there for me and I'm not going back. From now on, I'm looking forward and onward. I'm free.  

It's a scary but beautiful feeling.  

paramour

I have a love who is beautiful and who makes everywhere I go with him, my home :) Happy Anniversary my Darling. I love you. Keeping the faith since 2005. 

soleil

I want to be open to the whole spectrum of life around me... 

God DOES work in mysterious ways. I was at the brink of losing hope when a letter came via snail mail and offered me a spot in the Fall 2009 MEPN program! At least now I know all my hard work did not go to waste and all those sacrifices are falling right into place. Someone wants me.. and all this time I thought I was going to be stuck warming the bench and now I have the opportunity to be a starter :) This is definitely the boost I needed right before finals and right before graduation. 

Education opens the door to bigger and better opportunities and paves the way to helping others and I am very excited. Graduate school, here I come! 

p.s. I borrow that pic from my little sister (thanks oinky). Mother Teresa really knows what's up. ;)   

provocative

Today is the second day in a row that I've made myself a turkey, avocado, tomato & swiss cheese panini for lunch. Delicious much? Hella. AND it's helping me save a lot of money which I enjoy because I don't have a lot of it. I've been trying to cop some tickets for the Third Eye Blind concert at Humphrey's by the Bay in downtown SD in June. That would be an amazing graduation present =)! Speaking of graduation... I have yet to pick up my cap and gown but I'm waiting for my paycheck to do so. Lame, huh? There's so much work to do in the next week and a half but it will all be worth it. EB says it'll all work out for the best and I'm a firm believer in that. I'm rockin' Rhod's green Italia shirt right now. I thought about changing but it's so comfortable that I'm gonna wear it all day and at work. Speaking of work, I should probably head over to Irvine now so I'm not late! Oh, and before I forget, my personal goal today is to listen to others and lend a helping hand without being asked. Have an amazing day friend.     

my forte

I went to bed last night in my night gown with a cup of tea, a home & garden magazine and a chocolate chip cookie. When I pulled up the sheets, I realized that I'm turning into my mother, and that made me smile. <3 

Dead on

"Let go of negative things today -- it will be easier than ever before, because your mind is eager to move on to more positive endeavors. One way is to release yourself from being responsible for other people's happiness -- you have to let them take care of their own issues. Instead, start focusing more on the new opportunities coming your way soon. Have faith and hope that things are only going to get better, and they will".

I am home for Mother's Day Weekend. It feels so nice to be with my family. I needed a break from my life in LA. Gramps is here visiting, too. He's great to have around. He is a constant reminder of how beautiful life is and important is it to have a relationship with God. My sister is teaching me how to cook curry chicken and my we're gonna BBQ today and have a picnic in the backyard! MY favorite :) Happy Mother's Day to all!  

sailing

For a few hours I was transported into a simpler 19th-century lifestyle, where strolling in a beautiful garden was an understandable passion.

I realized that just "being" can feel so liberating... similar to the feeling of going commando. No one has  to know you're breaking the rules, plus you can do it so freely! It's amazing... & "you don't have to lie to kick it". Sometimes I forget to take a step back to look at my life. I realize it's not that bad after all. Yes, maybe it's not as glamorous as the next person's but I really do appreciate everything and everyone that is around me.     

Welcome to my new blog. Thank you for taking the time to read my daily jibberish. I think you're wonderful. Have an amazing day, friend. :)