insidious thoughts

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind... the race is long, but in the end, it's only with yourself" -B. Lurhman

I'm not an expert on these types of things but all I really know is that I am a dependable person. And although many might consider that to be a strong trait to have, I feel like it one of my biggest weaknesses. 

People know they can count on me for a lot of things so a lot of the times they call on me to help them fix their problems or even when they just want or need something to be done. It should be flattering, really... but half the time it's not... because as much as I love to help those who need it, I've come to realize that some of those people who ask are looking for an easier way to get what they want and really just taking advantage of my knowledge/experience.

I've come to recognize that some of those "friends" really aren't friends at all. In fact, they are anything but a friend... they use people like me to "one-up" (for lack of a better term) their status in society. That's foul... and I know that life is not fair but I definitely do not agree with foul play.  

Friends care how life is like on both sides of the fence.. yours and theirs.. not just theirs. They care to ask how your life has been, too. There's no problem with doing your own thing but don't use other people to get to where you want to be. "Cheaters never prosper" and if you've cheated a friend to help you get ahead in your career or educational goals, it will come back and bite you in the ass because all the people you meet on your way up in this world are the same people you'll meet on your way down so don't take advantage and don't be inconsiderate. Sometimes all someone wants/needs to hear is "How are you?" just to know that someone cares to even ask how their day is going can make a difference.

i haven't blogged in a while but this has been a recurring theme within these past couple weeks.