nystagmus

"She belonged to him, but he belonged to the whole world..."

On the drive home from the hospital last Monday, my gas light came on so I stopped at the nearest gas station off of La Cienega. Money has been tight lately and I was worried that I didn't have enough in my account to pay for gas. While I proceeded to swipe my card, a man approached me with windex and a dirty rag in his hands asking me if he could clean my windows for some spare change. I said "No thank you" and continued pumping my gas. He walked away and I watched him go back to his little spot under the tree while he waited for other potential customers to appear. Suddenly, I remembered I had an emergency dollar or two somewhere in my glove compartment and decided to look for it. Sure enough there was a dollar and a few coins. I thought about keeping it there just in case I might need it but I looked at the man under the tree and walked over and handed it to him. It wasn't much, but his face lit up with a smile as he said, "Thank you, Queen... God Bless you" and I smiled back and told him to have a nice day. The way his face lit up made my entire day. Something inside me clicked and made me realize that he needed it more. In retrospect it might have seemed like I lost but really, I gained so much more.

love the open road

Before I'm thirty, I'd like to set foot on all seven continents of the world. I've been contemplating life goals and I'm pretty sure one of those goals includes joining the Peace Corps for a year. William Least-Heat Moon once said, "The beauty about traveling is you are what you are, right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. There are no yesterdays on the road" :) That's comforting. I'd like to feel that free and I'd like to see the world someday.

whispers sweetly

Last Tuesday I was with a classmate on campus printing out some notes for our upcoming exam. It was late.. almost 9pm and I had been studying all day and was anxious to get home to my bed so I could rest and relax. As we were getting our things together to call it a night, an older man in the computer lab approached us. He didn't speak English very well and was strong with his approach. Naturally, my exhaustion and minimal amount of patience would have gotten the best of me and I would have acted out in a rude manner, but something told me to relax and just wait. The man was tiny... he looked tired and worn out. He had dark skin, graying hair and he wore a bright gold necklace. He asked my friend if she would read his poem. I noticed her slight irritation immediately as she took the paper from him and said "sure, i'll read it and then she (while pointing at me) will read it after". As you can imagine, I was not pleased with her volunteering me and I glanced at her unhappily.

After 5 minutes she handed me the paper and said, "Wow, that was really good..." and the man smiled. I proceeded to read the poem myself. I have to admit that my attitude before reading the poem was negative. I was irritated and wasn't being very kind to this stranger & I bet he could feel my negative vibes. By the end of reading his poem, I felt a sense of calmness... if I remember correctly, one of the last lines of his poem said something along the lines of... 'And then I hear my sins shouting and calling out to me, but then Jesus whispers sweetly into my ear, "let them go, for they are of the past and it's time to move on".... that line was beautiful and powerful. It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It was exactly what I needed to realize... especially with everything that has been going on in my life.

I thanked the man for being so kind to share his art with us. And to think, I would have missed such an amazing opportunity to feel God's love and guidance in that special way had I let my negativity get the best of me! The man shared with us that he was trying to write a book full of his poetry with hopes of his work reaching out to people someday. What a refreshing feeling... to have met a stranger with such a positive impact in the 5-10 minutes of meeting him.

This whole process made me realize more that everyone is fighting their own battles... we are not the only ones going through tough times. Everyone is stressed out.. i'm not the only one. I also realized that kindness comes in all shapes, sizes and forms... we don't have to do much to show kindness to strangers or to anyone at all. I'm learning how to open myself up more. I know I have a habit of being very closed off sometimes but I don't want to live like that. I don't want to miss out on opportunities to experience simple, yet meaningful interactions such as this one. I'm still growing and learning... i want to be a better version of myself and i'm grateful for these revelations.

Live & let go.